I awoke this morning thinking about my dreams…not my night time dreams…but my lives dream. I realized that I am living it…it may not be just the way I want it to be right now…but none the less….I am living it.
this is the other quote that I am working with (Actually two more…you know the story about even numbers….I can’t do them)
1.”One of the most essential things you need to do for yourself is to choose a goal that is important to you. Perfection does not exist — you can always do better and you can always grow.”
~ Les Brown
2. “We’ve got to have a dream if we are going to make a dream come true.”
~ Denis Waitley
I have a set, defined goal…to be able to work (art) in my own place, selling my work the way it makes me happy, and having the chance to meet the people who connect with my work. It’s a simple little dream…but it has taken three years of hard, 24/7 work to get “the place” to do all these things “in”… three years of bone crushing rejection and disappointments, three years of incredible growth as a adult human female. Learning, failing, getting back up and going at it again….that’s the story of my life. I have lost the fear of failure…because I have had so much of it, I guess it just doesn’t bother me as much any more.
There is a always going to be people who have more talent, money, luck, smarts, you name it… than me. There is always going to be someone who can do it better than everyone else…thing is I don’t care anymore.
I don’t care if I am not the MOST talented artist in the world…I don’t care if I am never one of the “big” artists that make tons of money from their art, and are well known…I don’t care if I don’t make “it” big like that anymore. Really, I just don’t care. Money isn’t the issue here, neither is… fame, recognizably, monetary wealth….this is about growth, healing, passion, dreams coming true, living like it’s the last ten seconds of my life.
I have found that I create better when I am able to be around others….and I mean that my creative muse is/are the human beings/condition of this reality. What I mean is…YOU.
I have conducted a little scientific experiment over the last year *artist is now looking very scientific like, be impressed*….my results found thru journaling, note taking , and essay writing about each work… that I am usually inspired by the events (of course) around me at the time…but even more so…the people that I have met in that time frame, and how meeting them, changed(s) me…what I felt and was inspired by/because in/about that person…for example:
I created Mind your P’s and Q’s after meeting a good and well intentioned (but emotionally unstable ) person, who I had a brief interaction with…she was trying to change the world by education of the general public about the plight of the American ex-con, and what happens after you have been “inside” and then get out to find a world that does not want to house, employ, or live near an ex-con. How do you stay “out” in such an awful place like that? Her passion and drive inspired me to create the artwork…and it’s all about what I learned from being around her, that good judgments come from bad judgments…”that to err is natural, to rectify err is Glory” ~ George Washington…I learned about forgiveness, and what a rare commodity it is in this world…I also learned that some amazing freaking artists are locked up…and I wanted their art outside the prison walls…I wanted to world to see them as Humans rather than rejects…they say… you’ve paid your debt to society when you are released from prison…but they don’t mean it. I am talking about the non-violent criminal here…not the rapeist, murders, and such…but the 18 year old that had consensual sex with his 16 year old girlfriend, and got sent to prison for 6 years, as a sex offender, and he will be listed as such for life…her parents insisted he be punished for his crime…he is/was and ever shall be…The wife that ran away from home with her kids while her husband slept…because that was the only time she could take such a chance and hope to live thru it…You know they don’t all come out of prison like Martha Stewart, or Mike Tyson….so it really interested me as a subject matter…and still does, very much…
It also inspired the inner creative in me to find my wrongs, and right them. To find the key to unlock my self imprisoned inner being and let her out to roam. That there are many wrongs in this world, and I can make some of them right…the ones that I create at least…I can do that. I worked on the painting over the better part of three days…and I reflected on how much we don’t know… we don’t know. How much magic there is in a moment, an eternity….I healed my inner prisoner in those three days…and I touch others lives in the process, and I made some things happen…and the ripples of that/those actions are still radiating out now…but in life metaphorically speaking…I have a bad habit of skipping stones across my inner lake…in other words, I create a lot of ripples in this reality when I am impassioned about something. I can’t help it.
Fairy world came about the same way…the first one was a fluke…a mistake background that I started playing with…because I had failed at all the technical “perfection” I was going for. What was spawned from that fluke painting, was… on a lark I included it in a review that I went to for a chance to hang in very popular local space. I also brought what was at the time I thought my best work…after looking at it all in about 5 minutes…she only liked the fairy. I went home and thought about that…13 fairy’s later…and one years worth of solitary work…(we must go in to find out)…I figured out what kind of a human being I am, and came to terms with the fact that I had yet to deal with the fact that I was a female…what that means to me, what has happened in my past because of that simple fact…what I am today…because of that simple fact…Complete and unbroken. Fairy world helped me to put together my inner female…the bits and pieces scattered thruout my inner landscape..and put her all together, I am complex, and altered by the life I have led. the experiences that I have had, and the people I have known, good and bad.
I need people, I need experience…I don’t paint still life, I don’t paint from photo’s, I don’t paint from anyother place other than my head, usually with no plan what so ever in mind other than a color that makes me feel the right way… so my muse is this world, and my experience in it, and the people that I meet, everyday…so Universe what’s next? I’m game…let’s see what happens next, I’ve got a few more rounds left in me….I can go the distance.
So, that’s my entry this morning…..I have a lot to do today…per usual…and I’ll try to get the art feature of the day up next ASAP.
Have a great day everyone, hope to hear from you soon….Heather