I slept last night like a baby…no dreams that I remember…that was nice for a change. Today I’ll be doing the “Thanksgiving” dinner thing…my family waited so that our Oldest (aka the narrow one) was back home from visiting his Dad and family.
I love Thanksgiving…next to my Birthday…I love Thanksgiving best. I love the idea of being grateful, although we practice being grateful for what we have (and don’t have) everyday as a family. I still love the meditative way this Holiday takes over for me.
Art is my path to understanding and creating the me I have been longing for…Forever. I knew what I “wanted” to be when I grew up…But with the belief system I had in place about myself (thanks parentental units) I could not really get there.
These last three years, I have created a new belief system…I’ll be criticized either way, no matter what I “pick” to do with myself…so I just went with my heart. I used to make a lot of money, my kids grew up most of their lives in a very comfortable way. Now we do without for most “things”…
like the kids Video Game system broke two weeks ago…the repair costs are crazy so we are going to buy a new game system for them…they are game crazy…but the catch is, they have to wait for Christmas to get it. I could go get it on my credit card…give it to them now and skip the daily…”I’m Bored!…I wish my game worked.” The fact is…I could do it…but I won’t. In this life we rarely get what we want…when we want it. It’s a lesson better learned now at 16, 7 and 8 than later in life…when the real world sets in. I also don’t “do” big lavish Christmas…never have…even when we had lots of money…so they are used to that.
I have not enjoyed the Holidays for years…I mean I pretend it’s great fun for the boys…but inside I have always dreaded them. Too many old memories, and abandonment issues, and fear…and anxiety…I could go on….but you get the idea.
My artwork of the last year…has helped me work some of these “old tapes” out…and for the first time in years (like ever) I am looking forward to the upcoming festivities…even the tree part…(my most hated chore…put up the tree…take down the tree…it’s down the day after Christmas around here…) and the getting ready part…Shopping…that’s not so bad either.
My art has helped me recapture my divine inner child this last year…what a gift is that?!
Mate Man can hardly believe it…the difference in me about the Holiday…Usually I am scrooge McDuck…but this year I am freaking Pollyanna about the whole thing.
I am so into the Meaning of the HOLIDAY…not about the money…the rushing…the demands that are socially created….it’s about the LOVE.
It’s about finding inner love, structuring the bonds with the people that matter…Hell…Finding some people to matter…it’s about being delighted at the plain goofiness of society about THINGS!
Art is not a THING.
At least my work isn’t…my work is alive…Created in an evolutionary moment…that never stops changing. Living with my work is like that too…form the hundreds of feedbacks I have gotten now…I understand that the people that have bought my works…have found themselves inspired afterwards…the Universe starts to conspire with them…my work is sometimes a Talisman for growth.
That’s so wonderful to feel that way about something you look at everyday, in your living environment.
Something other than your couch or your car…or the size of your diamonds…but a little object, that hangs/sits/resides in your dwelling that speaks to/for/about your inner you. The one that only YOU will ever really Know/Discover. That one thing in your home that inspires something inside you.
That’s what ART is…Inspired truth, that uncovers the answers hidden by the questions…
at least for me, that’s what art is.
I look around my studio as all my hard work comes out and goes up on the fresh painted walls, and I smile inside and out so big, because they are ready to find their homes…I am ready for them to go…fly away Fairy’s…fly away.
I have healed something inside myself with every single work…and I am ready to move on to the next step Universe, Let it be, Bold and Saucy…The next step is becoming more clear as I work this new body of ART out…because I paint from my soul…I close my eyes…take a breath…pick a color and let it out…no pictures to inspire…no nothing… but me…like it or not….and the world becomes larger and brighter for me everyday, let that be too.
Have a wonderful day everyone…and consider how an insightful, eternal and functional Original artwork can be as a gift this Holiday Season. Please consider supporting the living artist in your area/part of the world…or someone you find like me…*hint…hint*, but where you find your “voice” isn’t the important part…ART is about more than what it says to the world…Status…it’s about what it says to you…the one on the inside…
“Come on tell ME Who are you?
Who are Y-o-u? Who, Who-w-ho, Who-ho…come on now tell me who are YOU?!”
(The Who song lyric…sorry)
Yours in Truth,