I am still here…I am still here…working. Worrying. Working harder. Praying. Working. Working harder. Carrying the “blame” around like a yoke. Work harder. Stay positive. Paint. Paint. Paint. No change. Keep going. Change happens. Bad changes. Complications. Keep working. Work harder. Smile. make a joke. Laugh. Pray. I am still here. I am still here. The lesson will end when it is learned. Trying to decipher the lesson. Working. Work harder, work longer. Ignore pain. Ignore pain. Ignore hurt feelings and shame piles. Ignore bad feelings that scream from the back brain about what a looser you are and how you did this to yourself because that’s what you do. Ignore the needs you have as a being, because it is too much work on top of everything else you have to manage and swallow daily. Work harder. That is all. That is all until you are lucky enough to die. Did you ever think that you would come to a place when you thought dying is for the lucky ones? you are not crazy. Everyone has rough spots. It’s ok. It’ll be ok. It’s ok to not always be ok. Come on you can do this! You got this! This ain’t no thing but a chicken wing. Carry on. As you were….
Work harder, longer, pray, pray, pray. love yourself. Work harder. Love harder. Be smarter. work.work.work. don’t forget to smile and swallow quietly, with your mask tied tight, so others can be who they need to be. make room for what you really want. Be flexible and bulletproof. Stay positive. pray. pray. pray. work harder. work.work.work. Someday it’ll be your turn in the chute…until then. Sleep when you are dead. and work. work. work.