New Project Launch – She is BulletProof

I did something this morning. I don’t even know what to say to explain what it is except a separate space for me to do…me. Nothing else, nothing to sell, nothing to read, nothing…really. Just rambling audio files, a spoken diary.  I’ve been recording these…entries for a lack or term…and anyway, I needed someplace to put them. I want to remember this journey I’m on, but I don’t want to do it here… where the art is happening. This space is a shared space with our Patrons, friends, followers and family. It’s about the art we make. She is Bulletproof is about me. Just me. So…listen if you like.

It’s just the ramblings of an ordinary superhero…who thinks she is bulletproof but isn’t.

The image is a link to the blog page I made this morning, I’m sure it won’t improve, it’s just a landing page for the files, but you are welcome to come listen, hit any of the links or the image itself, below.  Be well friends. Love Always, HA! <3

sheisbulletproof

8 Comments

  1. Faith-Madgalene
    July 18, 2016

    I tried to listen to Tango with Henry. My internet is too slow to listen. I had to go back and forth, start over and stuff to get to almost the very end. I’m sorry I won’t be able to hear your words.

    Reply
    1. HA!
      July 19, 2016

      Thanks for letting me know…I wonder could you hear the poetry when I recorded it on SoundCloud? Maybe it’s not your internet but the way I am recording them…I wonder if anyone else is having a hard time?

      Reply
      1. Faith-Madgalene
        July 19, 2016

        I didn’t have difficulties on sound cloud.

        Reply
  2. Faith-Madgalene
    July 18, 2016

    My internet is too slow, I won’t be able to keep up with your recorded entries on the site you’re using. Anyway, I first wanted to say that when you started talking I could have sworn it was me. My goodness you sounded just like me at first. Your voice inflection, or lack thereof, told me just about more than your words.

    You sounded like me. Trying to grasp that this is how life is going to be and that there is no new normal when things change so often and so fast that you can’t get used to it before the next change.

    There’s anger, sometimes it’s hidden, other times more clear, but there’s anger because constant pain, in whatever form, makes you angry. It’s like wearing someone elses glasses. We see everything through pain, flowers, sunsets, rainbows all have to be filtered through the pain.

    I listened to you attempt to grasp the understanding that the little things people take for granted slowly slip away with no control over it. The only control is acceptance, but is that really true? Must we accept that this is going to be painful and that we will be too much for people sometimes, and that we have to be trustworthy because we can’t afford to run through our support system too fast. How is that acceptable?

    I heard you saying, I don’t want to be the sick wife, mom, friend because I’ll be a burden. You sound like the rest of us chronic patients, which means you are not alone in your feelings and thoughts. I’m happy I got to listen to at least most of that entry. It is helpful knowing others get it. Your entry was helpful to me.

    Today at my therapists office I dropped something on the floor. I had on my brace, couldn’t bend. Dropping something became a crisis. Do I try to get it and look like a fool trying to stretch my fingers beyond their limit or do I ask someone to come around the desk, walk down the hall and pick this up for me? I stretched to the limit. Something dropped becomes a crisis in the life of a professional patient. That’s crappy.

    When I paint with blue it is orgasmic, always. When the brush hits the paper it’s orgasmic, the first stroke to the last blue stroke is so thoroughly satisfying that it is nearly as good as sex…nearly.

    I want to tell you I’m really sorry, but more than anything I want you to know I get it.

    Faith

    Reply
    1. HA!
      July 19, 2016

      YES! you do get it. I can’t tell you what that means to me, to not feel so alone in this…event. Thank you. I need to talk it out and I don’t have the ability to reach for therapy…I have an abuse issue in that area so I can’t do it right now, but I still need to talk it out and I don’t feel comfortable talking it out to my people…I am pretty sure it makes everyone super uncomfortable which in turn…I feel and see which makes me keep it to myself and not share unless it’s in secret code…through artworks. Thank you for being my friend and seeing me. <3

      Reply
  3. Faith-Madgalene
    July 19, 2016

    Me again. I read about your curious Fibro assaults. I wonder if it may be due to the temperature drop and change in pressure on the body. You’d be surprised at how quickly the body responds to the temperature changes. Also, more of your body is touching another thing than any other time of day, more of your trigger points are being touched than any other position, gravity is pulling at those trigger points differently. Add all that change and you’ve got yourself some serious pain.
    I don’t know about Irritable Bowel Syndrome other than to say that my friend technically has it. I seriously doubt it. I say her bowel is angry, out right furious more than irritable. Enraged Bowel Syndrome!!! Baby girl’s bowel has long past irritable. 🙂 I hate to see her tied to home bc she can’t go too far from a restroom. When she is out she knows every single place that has a restroom and exactly how to get there. It’s not an easy thing to deal with. It too can render one in a lot of pain and tied to home. Then she’s got me to deal with. lol as I clarify the words irritable and rage as associated with one’s bowel.

    Reply
    1. HA!
      July 20, 2016

      temp and barometric pressure changes cause me fits. for sure. I am conquering the angry bowel…with diet, green drinks and little to no sugar and same goes with meat. Live food seems to help (uncooked). I can’t ever get comfortable because of the nerve pain that nothing can touch. Some days I deal with it better than others. 🙂 <3

      Reply
  4. Faith-Madgalene
    July 23, 2016

    For nerve pain I’ve tried ice, which works for me. I’m also able to benefit from regular use of grapeseed oil infused with…. I forgot the name of the berry that’s in it. Please use the berry for making gin, I think. So it’s that berry, with rosemary and lavender. I use it on my legs and feet. When my shoulders burn I use it.
    I infuse my own oils here.
    Yup, some days are better than others. Once life stuff piles up, my pain threshold is lower.

    To remove inflamed trigger points I lay on a baseball. It’s horrible for a bit, but I can feel it let go. As we speak, I’m laying on a baseball trying to kill off the inflamed trigger point on my left side.

    Reply

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