Something Different

Hello, happy Wednesday. 

I want to take a moment to talk about something, personal. I think it’s important, so here we go.

Air of Revolution (c) 2011 HA

I had cancer twice. Once when I was a young woman of 21 and again when I was 42. The first time, I did the chemo/radiation treatment plan and it was horrible. There was a tumor in my lower spine…I thought for sure the treatments would kill me. It didn’t and I lived but I have been irrevocably, long-term affected by the treatments.

believe mixed media (c) 2011 HMBT

When the cancer hit the second time, it was fast and hard. It was in the kidney to begin with and aggressive in it’s growth. They don’t offer chemo/radiation treatment for kidney cancers usually…it’s a surgical approach. We plucked that thing out like the bad apple it was and prayed for it to be over. It wasn’t. The cancer lingered and moved and morphed over the next two years. Until, the doctors threw up their hands and said, “we just don’t know how to fix this,  we can try and make you comfortable.”

So, I went home and tried to figure out how I was going to tell my kids. I didn’t tell them. I started researching. I found this: – RSO

I was in Michigan at the time, they have medical cannabis laws so I thought, “great, I’ll just get me some good bud and get on with it.”  Problem is, in MI. it’s illegal to make oil. You can smoke but you can’t make extracts. Even if you are dying. Not allowed. No exceptions. Go to jail. I made some brave friends who started making oil and giving it away to terminal patients that found their way to them. The group was strict…you had to be in a terminal or real bad way with your cancer to be a part of the club. They checked with doctors to make sure. Best bunch of humans I ever met, I tell you what. Those brave souls save lives! They go to jail when they get caught too. For saving peoples lives…they go to jail. They helped me gather up enough oil to cure my cancer, they made sure I was eating well, had visitors, had heat in the winter and taught me to make my own oil.  Michigan state has also outlawed all the solvents to make the oil…so good luck with that. Sorry about your luck, take the standard treatment, even though you know they will fail you and kill you, ignore the fact there is a medicine that makes you feel better, doesn’t make you sick and could cure you. Forget about that.

Insane. Criminal. It’s a CRIME to make people suffer and die for your profit margins.  It’s just insane to my mind.

RSO oil I made and put into gel caps…coz it taste like a dirty sock. 🙂 Homemade cancer killers.

I took the oil. I beat the cancer. I am here. I still have tons of problems…like I have a new tumor growing in my spine, it’s NOT cancer, it is inoperable and it is strangling my right leg, starving it. The pain is at times, unbearable. This time, I literally, can’t run from my situation. The doctors have all thrown up their hands, yet again, and are trying to make the rest of my life as comfortable as possible. They want me to live on pain pills, or implanted drug delivery machines, a professionally managed drug addict.  4 weeks ago, I was able to get my OMMP card from Oregon state and was able to purchase Oil. 4 weeks ago, I was laying in bed unable to do simple things like stand long enough to make myself food, or take a shower alone. 3 weeks into the oil and I am able to be out of bed all day, my pain levels are being modified downwards, my quality of life is coming back, I am not on drugs all the time, I can eat food again, and my leg…is working again! I am in terrible pain. It’s cool…I can walk! I suffer almost every minute of my life…it’s cool, it’s not Cancer, so I’m not gonna die! I may loose my leg someday…it’s cool, have you seen the awesome 3D printed prosthesis? It’s amazing and maybe I can get some legs with roller skate feet…wouldn’t that be cool? I figure the best outfit for roller skate legs would be tutu’s made of feathers….aahhh so pretty. See…I might not loose my leg…that is a possibility too. The oil may help me shrink this beast back into submission…maybe not…we will see. It’s working now, my leg has blood in it again…life is good. Oil is good.

last days 004

My reason for sharing such personal stuff is this…cancer is everywhere now. People are suffering and dying, needlessly.  That bugs the crap outta me, daily. When I beat the cancer I felt a little guilty. I knew I had been spared and I was unreasonably lucky. I have to do something with this gift that was extended to me…this life. I continue to coach people, make art in a million ways and love to my fullest abilities, every single day. It’s not enough. Honestly, after this much “you are gonna die”, I get it. I fucking get it. This is brief. This chance at being alive and conscious…it’s fleeting and so damn fragile.

I share this info because…I can. I am lucky enough to live in Oregon now, I am no longer a criminal for surviving.

That’s not the case for millions of people…it kills me. Breaks my heart. Kids? Really? We let kids die? No reason is ever going to make that truth right in my mind.

What to Expect Mixed Media (c) 2012 HMBT

here is a link to more info: (you can google it too, it’s pretty easy to find now)

I want everyone to know there is another option to cancer, chrones, lupus, MS, epilepsy, Parkinsons, chronic pain, insomnia, depression, to name a few…there are other options that are safer than the drugs they sell you. There is another way. It’s not a scam and I can’t call it a cure, because I still need to take it to keep my body from going back into it’s death throws. So, I may not call it a cure;  I will call it a life saving, non-toxic medicine that makes it possible for me to remain alive.

I am 47 this year. I will see 60! I know I will. I will see my children through this. I will share my story to help others. I will make oil and keep myself alive. I will LOVE everything that comes my way because it is meant for me. Whatever that might be. I will make art! I will make Love! I will cry and hurt and become angry!  I will live.

The dying…is easy…it’s the living that scares the shit out of you.

Here’s to being scared shit-less and doing it anyway…this time, around I want to DO IT with a lot more LOVE.

HA! 2013 "Open hearts served here" oils  16" x 20"

I love you. Really. I don’t have to know you to love you. I love all of us. I hope we all make it. Really, I do. I hope we can change this life into the glorious experience it should be… together we can make that change possible…we just need to care about each other (and our planet) as much as we care about ourselves…there is another way.

<3 HA!

Thank you for being here today and if you have any questions or need to talk, go right ahead and hit that comment button.


  1. fredliness
    April 13, 2016

    I to want for everyone to be able to get this oil for what ever reason and not ever have to worry about being arrested for wanting to save their own life or someone else’s. I absolutely LOVE YOU too!!! You are so awesome and strong! You always think of others before yourself without wanting anything in return. I pray you will get soooo much better and live well past 60 years of age and still be able to do your art and love the world as you get there! Big tight hugs, my dear friend, with a huge dose of LOVE!

    1. HA!
      April 14, 2016

      I love you too. Big giant love dear heart. ❤️😀

  2. Faith-Madgalene
    April 26, 2016

    Heather, I wrote a long winded comment about this entry that turned into a long winded two part journal entry. LOL


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