finding happy

It’s dark in here, take me home

it doesn’t feel safe to be  alone

changing the mind about what stress is to the body

takes time, time I don’t feel…Oh no, think positive! here it comes, cascading over….

filters, filters where are the dammed filters?!!!

Lord of all that is, hear my prayer…too late, it’s….it’s …   …   …

like I have nothing left anymore because breathing is hard the pain is real what is happening to me and I can’t it feels like lies drowning in self awareness bereft of fantasy allowing no pity I’m naked in front the crowd….I’m falling again…failing…falling…failing…

caught breath… breathing, I’m still breathing

I’m still here. Okay.       Okay.            It’s Okay.

Morbid jokes unfathomable invisibleness  3x the speed of life

rate of relevancy destruction 0 to 60, remembering

you never acquired relevance to loose in the first place, .0002 seconds

grieving retrieving lost parts discovering new truth

making lovers uncomfortable,  painful observations

fear of touching sufferings unbearable

techno color inescapable vivid details set in slow motion

for your viewing pleasure and edifications…there’s the anger…there is always the anger….

recognition…it continues, feely feelings…wildness safely observable from edges

 

Wow…intensely living in the fucking present, eh? They tell me it’s better than death

hard riding, sweating in the cold, hymns of… but at least you still have…

being capable of softness only occurs with handless clocks, paper blocks of time

allowing comforting lies… who knows….anything could happen

burned away leaving hard truth now, core solid

firm bedrock on a bit of a rise

smart place to build a new foundation,

historically speaking, not that you asked…

find me standing…one good leg, mind sharping

adversity sparking like steel against stone

the ground under this foot, I took it, now I own.

Come Universe, watch me! This stone girl, happily still

remembers how to twirl

open mouth head thrown back

doing the two step riding

unbroken unnamed wildly erratic

falling stars.

HA! 2016

artwork: from the New Goddess series circa 2009 HA! oils (sold)

<3 thank you for being <3 with love, HA!