Wait…what’s that smell?
I get up this morning, cranky and stumbling down the hall,
carefully trying not to spill my coffee and drink it at the same time.
Super pooch is wiggling and blocking the hallway with his furry and very large self, very excited that his people are awake and… in his mind ready to lavish the dog with kisses and well deserved attention.
I sit down at the computer without wearing any of said coffee.
Meanwhile big furry beast is trying on his “I really am a lap dog” act and trying to talk me into letting his 100 pound self into my chair.
I sit down and ignore the dog.
Then the smell hits me…
“What the holy hell is that smell?!”
Husband: “what smell?”
The kids come running from their rooms: “What smell?”
Me: “I smell shit! Can’t you smell it? It’s way too early for this.”
Others in the house: “No…wait…yes!”
The search for the smell starts.
The whole population of the house fans out into
every corner looking for the pile that
the horrible smell is coming from.
The dog follows me from room to room,
obediently sniffing for said smell.
He is very helpful my dog.
No one can find the source of the smell.
The kids: “We can’t smell it anymore so it must have been a fart.”
Husband:” I don’t smell it anymore either.”
Me: “I am swimming in it ovaah here, what the bloody hell do you mean you can’t smell it? I can’t get away from it, it’s everywhere! I think it’s actually now inside my nose!”
The dog sits at my feet looking at my free hand waving around in the air…waiting for it to come into pet the dog or give the dog food, range.
We all look at the dog.
He stands up.
The smell hits us like a hammer.
My dog never, ever has accidents in the house.
His very furry back end is wiggling like mad.
It is also covered in the smell.
The kids: “EEEWWW!”
Husband: “There’s the Shit!”
Everyone starts running in different directions, suddenly remembering a very important task somewhere far away from the dogs ass.
Thus starts the morning.
Memo now on fridge…
shave the dog,
save the world.
(this is a work of fiction, all names have been changed to protect the innocent and any resemblance to living persons, both furry and human, is a fucking coincidence. period. Carry on and enjoy your day 🙂