We are sometimes as different from ourselves as we are from others.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Well…I have some writing to do it feels like.
This journey of reinvention, of re-creation of the self…it’s bitch work some days I tell ya. I am learning at a rapid fire pace how to be alive and human and raw and radiant and graceful in my approach. A new body with new rules and regulations. A new life with romantic love that feels…right, proper, challenging…intense is a word…just a word that describes an abstract experience. An exercise in autonomy that is inclusive, interesting, thrilling and exploratory. A new feeling to the artwork too…surviving the cancer and deciding more importantly to live before I actually expire….has changed me and the work is reflecting that. A new sense of peace that is an active, daily choice. A new perspective on happy…also a choice and sometimes a forceful one. A maturation on the skill set of self care. A new sense of personal accountability and a deeper understanding of responsibility, what is and is not mine, to own or carry. A new skill set involving letting go…learning that the letting go allows change and makes “room” for whatever may be next on my path; it’s unfurling, into the unknown. A new connection to my spiritual conversation with source, learning to listen for the whisper of my highest self, the part of me that is the animating force of consciousness, that magical, ephemeral part of my reality. There is so much living in my life, in this now. It’s really, really real. Word.
The magic I am finding is that I am now infinitely willing. Willing to push, willing to learn, willing to stop and listen, willing to say no. I am willing to feel the pain. I am willing to accept the moments as they come. I am willing to be wrong and also to be right and to own both. I am willing to be challenged and angered. I am willing to continue. I am willing to accept. I am willing to be happy. I am willing.
I spin out my story and the past chapters mean less and less everyday as the unfolding continues…learning balance through extremes. I will continue to chart my way thru this experience. I will return to leaving reports in the sand on my progress and discovery. Thank you for being here today and I hope your world is all you need it to be for your highest expression and experience.
Raw and Radiant,