I’m having one of those periods where I’m not interested in anything. Blah! Bleck! eh…whatever. I am dealing with the fact that being a real live grown-up is drudgery sometimes. (all the time it just matters more right now than it does at others)
I mean I work, I clean, I parent, I shop for the needs, I pay the bills and stress over money, I tend…I tend to the daily grind. It’s absolutely boring as hell and unstimulating to my entire being…well except for the parenting and partnershiping (is that a word? yes , it is) I like those activities almost all the time, no matter what’s going on inside or outside my head.
It’s bitch work I tell ya.
I woke up this way again today? Crap, that makes it a week or more now.
Well I won’t have it, dammit. It’s un-sat and I will overcome, adapt and prevail. I am a creature of logic, so therefore, I can and should fix it if I can. At least I am not so bored now.
First step, identify and acknowledge issue(s).
I feel like crap on the lawn on a summer day. I feel like death warmed over. I feel like a train that took a dirt road. I feel like the cow who ate way too much cabbage. I feel like death eating a ham sandwich. I feel like a bag of wet cats. I feel like a nine tailed cat at a rocking chair convention. I feel like shit on a shingle. I feel like a headless chicken. I feel like the girl who cries at parties. I feel like an ant in a hurricane. I feel like old bones in the calabash bowl. In other words, I’m not at my best.
Step two: devise a list of ten things to change your state of being.
(more work? Okay, sheesh)
1. Quit my day job and do something else to make a living wage.
2. run away from home.
3. lock self in studio and create until it hurts or I pass out whichever comes first.
4. start learning a new hobby.
5. actually do all the housework and cooking for a week, today… and then take the rest of the week off.
6. go to the library
7. play a game with my kids after school and order dinner in.
8. make wild mad monkey love to mate man…when he gets home from his own day job.
9. sing everything instead of talking today.
10. excercise (eh…whatever)
Step three: see if any of the list makes sense or is helpful.
(more work, good freaking lord, okay.)
Step four: Change plans, throw everything into the air and google videos about inspiring things. Yeah that sounds good, just my speed (slug speed)…here you go:
Okay I get it…it’s going to be A-O- kay because I am strong and smart and have skill and talent and ambition. So, BAD! Kitty, quit your bitchin’ and get on with it already.
Have a great day, make it a great day,
Heather Raw and Radiant
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