I know that pain is to be fought and thrown aside,
not to be accepted as part of one’s soul
and as a permanent scar across one’s view of existence.
Don’t feel sorry for me.
It was gone right then.”
“There is much suffering in the world –
The suffering of some can be blamed on the greed of others.
The material and physical suffering is suffering from hunger,
from all kinds of diseases.
But the greatest suffering is being lonely,
feeling unloved, having no one.
I have come more and more to realize
that it is being
that is the worst disease
that any human being can ever experience.”
Knowing that you are loved, valued, wanted in this life is such an important thing. Children need to know that their parents would do anything, go any distance to love and protect them. Young adults need the comfort of a family to rail against, and still be unconditionally loved through the madness. Adults need parents/family to accept them as they are, support them and empower them emotionally so that they may become parents/citizens that know how to lead in the darkness that is parenthood and life.
Knowing that you are loved and valued not for what you can give, not for what you “owe” for being alive and a product of coupling and genealogy is a most valuable thing to every human. Needs of the child if not tended to in an honorable loving way, lead to adults that have a lack of compassion and venerability.
Greed sets in, people tend to raise their offspring with a sense that those children are their possessions, instead of their gifts in this life.
Family…what does this word mean to you?
What do the terms Mother, Father, Sister, Brother, Son and Daughter mean?
Is there obligation in those terms or is there love?
Is there respect for the differences that each of us come into this life with,
or a deep seated need to change or control them with those titles of power?
I am thinking this morning about these terms, labels, identifiers.
What do they mean to me?
Thinking about my thinking…
and taking my time on the issues at hand.
I am not an object to be possessed,
I am a human being that has suffered
the pain of abandonment again and again.
When do you say…enough is enough?
What could possibly be different this time around?
Why should I risk any part of myself at all…for you?
Issues that I think I have conquered
and losses that feel to large to bear in a lifetime,
but are none -the-less…mine.
Questions of my mind this morning…
knowing myself as I am today,
I trust I will find an answer that sits well
within my heart, mind and soul.
For today I have faith in myself.
I have parented myself well in the years past
and now arrive at the shore of my own understanding.
Forgiveness is a gift we give to ourselves.
A long memory of past behavior is also
something that one can not easily put
away like a worn out pair of shoes.
Past behaviors are the best indicators of future actions.
Scars are but thin works of skin
that hide the throb of the original
wound..ready to pulse again, so easily with
just a word, or a memory, or a communication.
I embrace my fears these days, I do not hide from them.
I embrace my own life-story, knowing fact from fiction,
knowing that reality is perception.
Today I am a risk taker and a
comfortable leader of an
army of one.
I am free.
I plan to remain that way.
This life is mine, and I’ll not hand over my heart easily.
I’ll not give away my power, hard won, to a title, or a label
from my past.
I am free, and I plan to stay that way.
This is my choice. I alone will bear the
consequences of my choices from this point on.
I will not be swayed by sentiment or obligations to ghosts.