BAD! Kitty Art Studio
Quote for the Day
“Other people think they know what you are:
glamour, sex, money, power, love.
It may be a press agent dream
which has nothing to do with you,
maybe it’s something you don’t even like,
but that’s what they think you are.
People rush at you from all sides,
they think they’re going to get
these things if they touch you.
It’s scary, so you build walls around yourself,
thick glass walls while you’re trying to think,
trying to catch your breath.
You know who you are inside,
but people outside see something different.
You can choose to become the image,
and let go of who you are,
or continue as you are and
feel phony when you play the image. “
I used to feel like a fake. A Big Old Faker Baby.
I no longer feel like a person playing a role in
a play with terrible writing and horrible stage lighting.
Feeling authentic has been a goal for many of my days here on earth,
today I can say I have not felt like I was faking it for years now.
Nice, even the bad days are real, and my dreams are no longer
I have always wanted to be an artist, and all of the
jobs I have done
(and that’s a lot of work too, lemme tell you, my resume reads like a short novella)
have been in the creative realms:
health care, Horticulture,
flower growing and arranging,
growing organic foods and farming,
and garden design to name just a few.
All creative and I was good at all of them.
Now being a writer and multi-media artist
I am fully actualized into the being that I always thought
that when I got successful enough I would be.
I would make enough money and gain enough security,
then become a full time artist and writer…
well I never made it to that “enough” point.
I did make it to the “I have had enough” point though,
and when at that place, I bloomed into my dream self.
Is it easy? Hell freaking no. Is it scary? Yes, every single day.
Cool beans thing is that it’s real.
Really, really mind bendingly real.
There is joy in that fact, and a whole lot of
“I don’t know how I am going to make this work!” too.
I mean being an artist is NOT cheap,
and most don’t make tons of money till their dead,
and that’s if you are lucky and talented enough
to get discovered and collected by enough people with money to spend.
I strive to become a successful LIVING artist…that’s my goal.
So, in that vein I work hard, I promote, I show,
I put myself out there for judgment.
If I feel scared or uncertain about doing any of those activities,
I now have an OCD thing about doing it anyway.
Learning through facing fears down, and jumping off the ledges of life…
today I never let fear of the “what if” stop me
from doing anything, and I mean anything and everything.
I now use fear as rocket fuel instead of bone crushing weight.
I thought that it being Halloween,
fear was a good thing to talk about…
and how I personally view fear…
it’s a good thing, I have a little with breakfast every morning,
and put some behind each ear for special occasions…
try it you might like the way it makes you feel too. 🙂
Bwa-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha! (Scary me laugh)
Have a happy and safe all Hallows Eve,