Namaskar – Nepali for Hello
Good Morning fellow reality dwellers.
I am coming to you live from a cold Oregon this morning…
With a report from the front lines of my inner battle,
to accept this reality that I seem to have bought in “as-is” condition. I gotta learn to read the fine print, before buying…
I slept well for about 4 hours last night.
Then I woke up at 2:33 am…
And then every hour on the hour for the rest
of the night. My brain…
(Quantum physics central headquarters…
ssshhh, that’s top secret classified
information there buddy)
is trying to tell me something.
I am chewing the cud of my past…Then really digesting it.
This time around, I get to control how I react to the information…To a certain extent.
I can’t control waking up every hour on the hour…
And being tired because of it.
I can control how I react to my waking life today though…
How I react to the upcoming situations and senerios that will play out while I am awake.
That’s my power in this reality, one that I awaken to every single day.
How am I going to handle today?
No problem…I got this…I know what I am doing.
I am going to go with the flow, I am going to stay present in the eternal moment, and I am going to approach every situation and person with integrity.
That ought to cover it.
I feel fine…Really…I feel like both feet are on solid ground
and mentally I feel fit and ready to take it on.
My body on the other hand is sick.
I had cancer when I was real young…
Well, 20 isn’t that young, but you get my drift.
Anyway…No biggie, I survived…but years later,
I have to deal with a bunch of physical facts
of life with this body.
I also have a permanent spinal cord injury, and permanent nerve damage.
(trust me when I say… No drug on earth touches nerve pain, am I right out there or what? Can I get an Amen?):)
* they found that little creepy bastard cancer, when they operated to fix my broken back, because of an on the job injury*
I had a tiny-mini stroke when delivering the middle child, coupled with repeated blunt force injury to the head as a child…I forget common words sometimes, and a host of other little brain, speech issues, no big deal…but that’s always fun…
and a bad hip, knee, hands and wrists with Rheumatoid Arthritis (and years of hard labor),
fibromyalgia, IBS, gastrointestinitis,
and I am allergic to everything under the sun because of stepping into an underground hornet hive, while wearing raingear on a wet, sloppy job Mate Man and I were doing while being Garden Designers Of the Highest Order, about 5 years back now.
Those little tiny bastards
swarmed up my rain gear
(big, baggy, plastic over wear, that outdoor labor workers use to stay “as dry as possible” just in case you don’t know what that is, we called them our banana suits…Until I got green ones then we used to say…”Looks like we are going to get pickled today”…When it rained)
anyway… I was stung hundreds of times before we could get the gear off and get down the muddy slope we were working on.
I started to go into anaphylactic shock, and we just happened to be at a job site in the way, way out…way out… back woods…25 miles to the nearest small town.
Mate Man was trained as a field Medic in the Marines
(among other things)
and knew what to do, so I was OK…And the customer was at home so we had access to some emergency supplies…
so I made it.
But the after effects are that now I am allergic to everything…
I mean…Like I can’t walk down the detergent/cleaning supply aisle without my inhaler in hand and for sure hives afterward. I can’t pet my dog or cat then touch my face, can’t drive with the windows down, because of exhaust fumes…stuff like that…
So are the facts of my corporeal body. I’m what they call chronically “disabled”…
I say Fuck that….this body has some issues…sure it sucks to live with it sometimes *most of the time*,
but hey now, it’s the only body I got isn’t it?
So, I take care of myself the best I can…
if I could just really kick cigarette’s and meat
(I only eat “happy” healthy meat…BTW)
all together…I would be closer to being
“just right” in my eating/living habits.
Everyone has something they have to “deal” with,
this is one of mine….My body is a lemon…
That I can’t trade in.
Facts of life.
So I am working hard at not becoming one of those people
who has chronic illness as their burden or use it as a tool.
I’m as well as I appear to be…It’s always been important to me not to be the victim of any pity.
So I put on my happy face, suck it up and …Keep on living.
Like I have another choice?
Yep…I could so suicidal…
That’ll go over real well with My Maker…I’m sure.
That I and I don’t have any desire for life to end yet…
(If you spent an evening like I did with a
Human Being like Mate Man…grrrl you can’t help but want to keep living, just for more of that good stuff!)
I still have things to do…
So what if I have the internal body of a
(looks like a 28-ish year olds body
on the outside, or so I am told BTW…)
85 year old…I still got spring in my step…I’m still lively.
Most of the time, none of my psychical issues slow me down too much…Sometime they knock me on my ass.
I can handle that most of the time…
but it’s tiring.
So that’s what’s on my mind today…
Mind over matter, I don’t feel good…So what.
I’ll still make this the best day I can,
doing the best I can with what I got for the day.
Up and at em’!
Here’s to overcoming (mentally) the daily challenges
that each of our realities bring us.
Here’s to being Strong, Saucy, Bold, and Fearless.
Here’s to saying Fuck you to bad bodies,
and icky past life crap.
Here’s to today, may it be all it can be…
and here’s to me being my best me too…
and to you… Here’s to you being your best you too!
Can I get an Amen, from the back?!
Make to most of your reality….
Inside and outside your head/body today…
Best wishes to you and yours for your Saturday,