I awoke…With less internal impurity than yesterday…So therefore I again feel the Steele of my core being.
This reality, this life I am trying to live/create…That/this is my forge. I am stregthened by the fire…let it be.
I concentrated on being in the moment all day yesterday, and was able to finish completely (except for a few minor items I need to get) the studio bathroom. It’s small…so small you have to turn and sit sideways on the toilet or you might hit your knees on the sink. Funny huh?
I painted it the same golden color I painted the studio, with brilliant white trim and chrome fixtures. I left it all the original 40’s style…Because I had to and because I am a 40’s and 50’s freak. I love all things vintage…not antique…Vintage.
Anyway, it still is small, but it’s clean, and pretty, and well… it’s the bathroom… damn what do you expect?
I have only the bottom cabinets in the kitchen area to paint and then THANK the Good Lord…I’ll be done painting this place. Then it’s just decorating, and hanging the art for the first showing. I know that I am being OCD on the painting thing, but the place had not been lived in for years, and had not been painted or updated in more like decades, and now…it’s really nice! Cozy, charming in that old Portland way, and most importantly it’s mine. I am so excited to share it all with real live humans, that I am about to burst.
I am not thinking about the house purchase…Period. We have a lease, it’s binding on whoever owns the house…and if it’s not us in the end, well that’s the way it’s supposed to be…in this moment in time, the sale or purchase of this home, isn’t really impacting on my current plans or actions. BAD! Kitty Studio WILL open…come hell or high water. So…on with the show.
My oldest skipped school yesterday…yes that means I am back to the wanting to whip his ass good with a switch, that he has to cut and bring to me….but I never did/could do that…so now I just have to play warden….I hate being a warden. I mean I can be one tough assed Matron from hell…but I hate it. He says he doesn’t care…do what I need to do.
Switch time….I promise I’ll let him go when he turns blue…Promise…You hold him, I’ll kick him in the shins and then we can run. OMG…16 is going to kill me…again…this life is my forge…I am made of Steele…if he needs to feel it, if he asks for it, if his actions prove he needs it…Instant commando Mom…just add attitude. Give what you get….get what you give. We will also be starting back up with a counselor…he needs to talk to someone else besides me…I am a more effective Mom when I am not also his therapist, friend, and life saver. I still want to strangle him though…he can be such a stupid asshat…the things he thinks he knows! He don’t know what he don’t know…that’s all I got to say….and if I was a different Mom…I would paddle his narrow ass…but I’ll be the Mom that makes him do all the stuff to fix his own problems…with help…just I am not going to do it for him…if the school wants to suspend him…he can spend the time working/volunteering at a place of my choice…Life ain’t easy and it sure as hell ain’t free…better learn that now, spoiled white boy…or you’ll be in for a rude awakening when you do get to “get the hell out of here and do what you want to do!”. 18 is only two years away…he is counting the seconds….Evil parents…that won’t let me do whatever I damn well please…Bastards.
Brings to mind this quote:
“Parents are the bones upon which children sharpen their teeth.”
~ Peter Ustinov
I have to get the kids up and going for school, and I have a ton of things to get done before the end of the day…so art of the day up next…and my best wishes to you all for living thru another day in the forge of Ordinary Life.
Heather resident Art Czar at BAD! Kitty says:
“I hope to live all my life for my art, without abandoning my principles one iota, without . . . having painted as much as you can cover with your hand, to please somebody or in order to sell the picture more easily.”