Do you Want Fries with that Stress shake?

Today is May 26, 2004

Dear Heather,

WTF? Go write in your blog and feel better.

Love,

Your smelly self

***

I went to see a therapist today

For my feelings of anxiety and slight

Boughts of depression.

He told me that I just need a new set of life skills and he would teach

Me how to mitigate my

Symptoms.

I don’t want to mitigate or any such thing

I want to be cured.

Now.

***

So, he tells me to mitigate

Stressful worrying

I need to start with

Setting aside a block of time to

Just worry.

Lets say we will start with a

30 minute time out to worry.

He says, “pull out a timer and set it for a half hour.”

“Then worry about everything”

“Add a dash of writing”

“And try to get it all out

At once.”

I was doubtful

That a half hour would be enough.

Then I thought about maybe

I could have a heart attack while

I was

Mega Stressing.

Stressing to the oldies

The 6-minute Stress crunch

Stressing Jacks

I said, “hmmm doc

That’s an interesting idea.

I will give it a try.

Thanks for your time.”

And I left.

Thinking about when

I would pencil in my

Stress

Melt down

Break down

Stress Management isn’t so bad

After all.

You just have to make time for it like everything else.

Sex

Paying the bills

Grocery shopping

Taking the kids to school

Oh there it is

My half hour

Stress attack.

“Sorry Honey

Not now

I’m right in the middle

Of my nervous

Breakdown

Go ask

Daddy”

***

Needless to say

I just simply have not had the time to be stressed lately

So I guess I’m just going to have to

Put it off a little while longer.

I wonder who is supposed to be keeping track of my

Missed days?

What if I take a stress

Convention?

Holiday? Sick Day?

WTF?

I wish he had given me some drugs.

At least then I’d know what the hell to make of it all.

***

I have been painting a lot.

And I like the results I am having.

I just wish that I could paint all the time

Because that’s when my brain rests.

I have seen the drug commercials about

adult ADD

I am sure I have got it now

I don’t need the drugs; I just need to make enough money painting

So that I can afford

To justify spending all my time doing it.

I love the feeling that

Slips

Slides

Creeps along

My spine and shoulders

My brain stops

Working

Analyzing

Hearing

Hurting.

And I can float

Along in a nice place

Where everything is made up of

Color

Light and

Shadow

Tone and depth

Emotional release and peace

and happy

Happy

Happy

Heather.

I love to paint.

***

I love to write too.

And words are like a harder drug.

I really

Can move into another

Apartment in my mind.

I just go in sit

Down at the desk

And my life becomes

Fodder

Inspiration

For the keyboard to make sense of.

***

I wonder…

How do you feel

When you are happy?

Have you ever taken the time

To stop

and think

to Feel

Drink in

The physical

Sensations

that happen when all of you,

your full

being is happy

under the skin?

I did.

Do.

I feel that way when

my kids and I are really

Laughing from the gut

When my mate is kissing me

In just the right way

When my friend(s) can really understand

And be present with me.

When there is good groovy music one the stereo in the car

And it’s sunny and I am a hot gyrl driving fast.

And when I am painting.

So I paint every chance I get.

I am admitting my addictions

To you.

Paint and Sun and Sexy and laughing and Understanding.

What a junkie…I’ll take it.

***

I think that I am winding down now,

And guess what?

It took me almost a half hour to

Write this.

***

Dear Heather,

We have conclusive evidence that you need to write in your

Blog at least three times a week, and

Paint PRN. Results of following our scientific advice, will be

A better state of mind

And a Whiter Brighter smile.

4 out of 5

Mental patients agree.

Just Today, Just Imagine.

Growing in Truth,

H

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